Fighting Back...

Usually my posts are upbeat and trying to see the bright side of a bad situation.  I can't help it that is just who i am.  Always a fighter and trying to put a positive spin on a crappy situation.  Today has been very hard for me.  I get these days sometimes but thank goodness they are few and far between.  Have you ever felt like your disease rules your life?  Like you have no control over it?  Sometimes all the pain over takes me and i begin to feel defeated.  Today is that such rare day.  I've had thoughts of feeling better off being dead than alive. (don't worry i am NOT suicidal) I feel worthless.  I don't work anymore.  Became disabled at 30 years old.  I'm in the bed most days cause I feel bad or am in pain or just plain ole depressed.  I'm not the wife I want to be or the mother I want to be.  I feel my kids suffer cause most days my husband has to play the "mommy" and "daddy"

 role cause I'm to sick to get outta bed. 

Let me tell anybody thats just dying to grow up and be an adult.  It is NOT all it is cracked up to be.  Slow down and enjoy the stage of life you are in  cause sooner than later you will have real life smacking you in the face trying to beat you down.

Good thing about days like today is that they are just a bump in the road...tomorrow IS another day and it WILL be a better day.  I won't let RA keep me down for too long cause if you let it then it will defeat you.  I am no quitter.  I will fight back as long as there is a breathe left in my body I will always fight back.  I may not be able to hold down a job like I used to could or be able to do alot of things i used to do but I have to focus on the things i can do.  I may not be the "normal" mom but I can love my children and show them that everyday and be there for them when they need me and be a personal testment in there lives that life isn't easy and to NEVER EVER GIVE UP no matter how hard life gets.  I may not be the normal wife but I love my husband with all my heart and do my best to make sure he knows I appreciate everything he does for our family and for me.  I can help others facing the same situation and problems as me.  Turn the negative feelings into something with a purpose.  A purpose to help others.  RA may have won today but I can gaurantee it won't win tomorrow.  These little hiccups in the road of life only make me come back stronger.  So get ready RA cause tomorrow is a new day and I have my boxing gloves on ready to beat you.